The Resources
Some of the cairns that helped me find the path I was hoping for...
Love that transforms
Escaping Religion
If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done.
Some of the cairns that helped me find the path I was hoping for...
The church has chased transformation unsuccessfully since the Enlightenment, not understanding the context God designed for transformation, or his design of humanity.
This simple look at history and modern brain science paves the way to communities that naturally heal and transform.
If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done.
This book was the introduction to a topic that would absolutely transform my understanding of this Christian life. It was also my introduction to Jim Wilder (my friends joke about how many of his books I’ve read).
Jim and Kitty Wilder were very close, affectionate friends with Dallas and Jane Willard. Dallas was the beloved voice of discipleship and spiritual disciplines for millions in modern Christian society. At the end of his life after many deep discussions with Jim, he humbly shared that what Jim shared led him to believe he had misunderstood salvation for all of these years.
Knowing he did not have the time left on this earth to write the book that would set it straight, Dallas asked Jim to do it on his behalf. Jim humbly agreed, and very tenderly and honoringly delivered it after Dallas passed.
Heads up: the first two chapters will likely feel over your head. The following chapters makes sense of it, and are so very worth the read. Processing the theme of this book set our home church on a path that we often describe as “loving in meaningful ways”.
While this is a slightly easier read than Renovated I find them to be a perfect pairing (i.e. I would always recommend reading both). I can’t overstate the value of understanding the brain science of transformation; how identity is formed, how we change, how we mature, how we become more like Jesus.
Having mostly known highly spiritualized answers to these questions that didn’t yield a great deal of transformation for me, the truths in this book gave us the opportunity to shift how we approached this Christian life and how we embraced community, ultimately resulting in greater emotional maturity within our spiritual family.
To know, “oh, this is how God designed us for relationship, for transformation, for life” and it not be one person’s idea, but solid science… it’s unbelievably helpful.
Possibly the best book I’ve read in a decade, and sadly I think a lot of people won’t pick it up because they don’t understand the title. This is a masterpiece.
If you want to be someone who loves people well under difficult circumstances, and values relationship more than coming out on top, I don’t know of a better book. My wife and kids commented on the changes in my life while working through it.
And again… the brain science stuff. Invaluable.
I read this after reading all of Jim Wilder’s books related to attachment love (which changed my understanding of Christianity). How to Know a Person was a perfect followup. It was so closely aligned with what I had learned but with a different collection of language that sort of drove the tent stakes in a little tighter for me.
From the vulnerable stories to the practical examples and tools, I think every community that embraced this book would become better at loving people. Well, if they took it to heart. Which is rare because it seems Western Christianity values knowledge more than transformation…
I digress…
This book is sort of the masterpiece from The Life Model group (formerly known as Shepherd’s House). This group became the place that the “unfixable” trauma cases were sent from all over the U.S. And almost without exception they were able to walk with those in need into a place of healing and restoration where you could not even tell they had ever been in such a bad place.
It is a broad AND deep book. It will take you a while to work through it. If reading the book description below just seems like too much, maybe don’t read it yet. But when you’re ready, it’s incredible.
Description:
The Life Model is a unifying approach to ministries of counseling, recovery, pastoral care, prayer ministry, deliverance, inner healing, child rearing, body life, and health. Substance abuse recovery programs internationally are guided by the Life Model’s five principles. Because the Life Model develops strong maturity, it is widely used as a church model, particularly where people must face suffering.
While this is a slightly easier read than Renovated I find them to be a perfect pairing (i.e. I would always recommend reading both). I can’t overstate the value of understanding the brain science of transformation; how identity is formed, how we change, how we mature, how we become more like Jesus.
Having mostly known highly spiritualized answers to these questions that didn’t yield a great deal of transformation for me, the truths in this book gave us the opportunity to shift how we approached this Christian life and how we embraced community, ultimately resulting in greater emotional maturity within our spiritual family.
To know, “oh, this is how God designed us for relationship, for transformation, for life” and it not be one person’s idea, but solid science… it’s unbelievably helpful.
A series of heartfelt, reasonable questions about the current state of the church written from a place of love and concern. It’s hard to imagine reading this and not at least trying things in a different way. I’ve given many copies away and the response is pretty consistent. How did we get so far off…
As Francis Chan puts it, it’s as though God asked for a steak dinner and we brought him our best plate of spaghetti. It’s not that spaghetti isn’t good, it’s just not what he asked for, not what he wanted. And there is a cost to it.
I think of Letters to the Church as a gateway into a much broader world of asking hard questions and processing modern church reality. To Francis’ credit, he did something about the content in the book, leaving the predominant Western church model and embracing a home church network approach.
I don’t know of another leader with that kind of fame being willing to leave it all out of conviction.
The Starfish and the Spirit was a “how much simpler can things be” book for me. It helped me with ideas I had been scratching at but struggled to put language to.
It addressed the leadership dilemma. It addressed hierarchy and the body of Christ.
Even expressions of the early church that we mostly manage to miss in the New Testament.
We do things in our gatherings differently than where these authors went, but that’s not because we’re more right or know something they don’t. It’s just a different flavor.
If you’ve struggled in particular with the brokenness of the Western church model and the inequalities demonstrated in hierarchical leadership, this won’t just let you know you’re not crazy, it will also help you process forward into something healthier.
A short, powerful read detailing the primary pathways the American church has taken in pursuit of transformation, and why none of them are really working. It’s not about pointing fingers, it’s about shining light so that we can change course and actually experience transformation that makes the family of God look a whole lot more like Jesus.
Some friends have referred to it as mind-blowing. It’s so helpful.
Heads up: the book opens with a long list of credentials from the authors. Not my favorite thing, but also exceptionally uncommon for both authors (I’ve read many books from both). I can only surmise that this was in an effort to keep the book short but also provide some credibility. Without knowing these things you wouldn’t be aware that these men have devoted their lives to this subject matter and are widely respected for it.
Joseph Hellerman’s joyful demeanor after decades teaching in seminary and serving as an elder in a local church is a tribute to his understanding of God’s heart for the church—one that he says functioned in the early church wholly as a family, not an organization.
His collection of early writings, historical-cultural understanding and ability to bring you on a journey that contextualizes the early church reality is beautiful. And inspiring. And clarifying… because this is one of those lenses that, once you put on, makes sense of square pegs we’ve tried to shove into round holes (e.g. via anachronism).
Great book.