I have some thoughts about a future of the church. My thoughts aren’t more important than anyone else’s, they’re not particularly prophetic (that I’m aware of) and they’re not a declaration of what God is doing or is going to do. They’re much more of an observation from what I have experienced over the last two years… and how what I have experienced is, well, it’s fascinatingly uncommon, yet, also there is a thread of commonality.

It’s uncommon in the sense that I see nothing of this on social media, or the news, or in common discussion. Yet I constantly meet people who are living out strikingly similar lives as followers of Jesus, and as the “church” together but nobody is talking about it. It’s my intention here, to begin to talk about it a bit. Not to say that it’s the next thing but to give it voice because I see how many people feel this and are drawn to it, but don’t realize it’s an option—a very beautiful, life-altering option.

But first, what do I mean by “unobserved expression”? Well, it’s like a lot of what I just wrote: there are some approaches to living this life as the church together that you won’t hear about, and the reason you don’t hear about them isn’t because they’re not common, but because they’re virtually nothing like the modern Western church… they’re far more ancient (?) and simple than that, and therefore don’t use the systems and approaches of the modern church.

We’ll get into this more but first I want to tell a bit of where I was before getting to where I am, sharing part of the story of how I ended up in this “unobserved expression” I’m being so masterfully vague about.

The backstory

Two years ago, before Sarah and I gently exited what I now consider to be the Western Christian structure, I wrestled more deeply with one point of contention than any other: why aren’t we maturing in love? And very, very specifically, why am I not maturing in love?”

I was a part of a great group. I deeply loved the people I served in leadership with. I enjoyed our time together. But after many years I didn’t see an observable increase in our ability to love in meaningful ways as a community… an increase in what I would call “matured love”. Others would for sure disagree with me and that’s reasonable. My point isn’t that my observation was right and that theirs was wrong; it’s that this thing found its way into my bones.

I wanted to love like Jesus. I wanted to look like Jesus. I wanted to be transformed.

And I did not feel that any of those things were particularly true about me. Despite the manner in which I was able to hold my external world together, my heart was in turmoil. I had spent decades in Charismatic Ministry—much of which would have been considered the “heights” of it, rubbing shoulders with well-known leaders and ministries. I built ministries, I taught regularly, I led worship…

But I couldn’t change in ways I had wanted to for decades. For hope’s sake I would believe that someday when things are different I’ll just have more “grace” to change. And as you might imagine that someday got attached to calendar years that came and went, came and went, came and went…

That is, until the time came and I went.

With an unbelievably limited understanding of what was going on in me, what I was wanting, and what I was going to be doing in the coming days, I left all I had known. I resigned from ministry. I left a church and community filled with wonderful people. I knocked all the Christian legos off the mat and began to question each and everyone of them. I had to understand why a lot of things weren’t working for me. This was the beginning of my unrequested (and I might add uninvited) deconstruction. Because unless you be fooled, nobody chooses to deconstruct.

Over the next 6 months I would, bit-by-bit, relinquish every form of human power and authority I held within Christian contexts. I had served in leadership capacities within ministries for decades. But I was letting go of all of it. We invited a small group of friends to try something we didn’t have all that much clarity on. While we started the group, I would not even retain enough say in community that I could retake a position of authority or leadership even if I wanted to. We would journey together as equals; I opened my hands and asked everyone around me to open theirs (some would say I said this for a while before I actually did it… shaking old habits is hard!).

But, we would, together, see what Jesus might do in leading us as his family, with him alone as the head.

That journey together lead to the most transformative community I’ve ever been a part of or seen, and it led to the personal transformation I had longed for for decades. In fact, that was the most common experience for the sweeping majority of the group. When reviewing our first year together, there was a common theme: I’ve changed more in the last year than previous decades combined. One of the men put it like so: “it’s like Love has truly become flesh in our midst,” meaning we were maturing in Christ-like love.

Maturing in love…

Our time together (we spent some serious time processing) involved a great deal of scraping off what man has added to Christianity. We studied the early church, we read the patristic writers, we observed competing perspectives, we expressed competing perspectives. Nothing was off-limits. And little to say, most of what we grew up with was scraped off. This was not directed at individuals… we weren’t gathering in bitterness or unforgiveness. In fact we didn’t talk about other people when together. Just the issues. Just the system… and how much what we observed in Jesus seemed to stand in contrast to so much of what we had known.

We were finding our hearts being led toward very pure expressions of love, of selflessness, of sacrifice. There was no competing for position, there was absolutely zero hierarchy. There weren’t even roles—anyone could ask anything at any time. Anyone could facilitate a meeting or a time of singing, or well, anything.

We loved each other deeper and deeper with each passing week until we all had the same realization: I love you regardless of what you believe… and to me, you are family.

You see, we had disagreed about countless items. Sometimes it was more like looking at different sides of a cube, but other times it was opposite perspectives, opposite beliefs. And with each disagreement, we chose loving attachment in relationship. Who we are together on the other side of this discussion became even more important than which of us would be right within the debate. And that consequentially meant that forcing our own views became less important.

It was 15 months in before we realized that our little group was comprised of 5 very different denominations and it didn’t even matter. Loving as Jesus loves; loving in meaningful ways became central. Jesus himself—and his leadership—had genuinely become central.

And that was the thing—we all still held to Jesus. We grew in love for him and each other unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. I am, today, more emotionally, relationally and spiritually healthy than I have ever been in my life.

Unique but not as rare as you’d think

When I share this story I’m often met with some form of anxious resistance… which I think comes from fearing what is unfamiliar and at times feeling threatened as though the point were to somehow say that “what we’re doing is better than what you’re doing” which is 100% not the point.

But on the rare occasion that I don’t get that look, that withdrawn body language and conversational redirection to something else, what I hear is that it sounds incredible but that they’ve never heard of something like this.

What’s surprising (and ironic?) though, is that I’m seeing this kind of thing all over the place.

I’ve actually connected with a lot of people who have experienced SO MUCH of the same things we experienced in our “deconstruction and reconstruction” journey who have all been led to such remarkably similar journeys, desires, and outcomes. I still can’t figure out how I keep meeting all of them, but I do, and these are some of the most incredible people.

The common focus on loving sacrificially, on seeing each and every person with immense value, on being transformed by love and being a safe place for those who are hurting and needing rest… it’s uncanny how common it is. And these are, without a doubt many of the most selfless—and joyful—people I have met in my life. These are the people that make you think, “if God is like that, I want to know their God.”

But with that said, I do understand why, in general, nobody is hearing about it. And this might help provide some context:

Our group, for example, has no official name. There is no tithe, but there is generosity like I’ve never witnessed. There is no hierarchy. There is no leader, but we recognize the leadership demonstrated in the selfless, sacrificial care for others. We process everything together. And we have altogether rejected the idea of creating a system or model based on what we’re doing. You see we tend to agree that this approach would—over time—remove the heart from what has transformed us: experiencing deep, attachment love to each other, to God, and to the people who fill his world.

What I’m describing here is both more rare and more common than you’d ever imagine. The very nature of it means you’re not gonna hear much about it. This is an expression of Christianity where folks aren’t seeking to build an organization, create a non-profit, formulate a better system, or somehow make money from it.

It’s rare because you don’t hear of it, but it’s common in the sense that this outcome is fairly consistent for those courageous enough to take the journey. I suppose all put together that makes the nature of it a bit, well, underground(?)

Underground, but not really

“Underground” used to mean something was sort of happening on it’s own outside of the common viewpoint, carried by the shared desires and expressions of a passionate collective. But today it’s intentionally used in the naming of businesses and organizations to give a certain appeal to its audience. Because of that it’s lost a bit of its original meaning.

But still, my observation is that this expression of “church” is happening underground in the most original sense.

That house-church movement with its daily Instagram posts isn’t what I’m referring to. That micro-church organization with its precepts, guidelines, handbooks and daily disciplines isn’t it either.

Those are great and God is doing great stuff in those arenas that I celebrate. That’s just not what I’m talking about. These still embrace elements of hierarchy, structure and formula that would dismantle what I’m describing. What I’m referring to is something so relationally-propelled and inherently-transformative that you don’t need vision-and-mission statements to live out what Jesus dreamed of for the church. It just tends to happen naturally.

I’m not declaring this is the future and I’m not saying it’s the only true expression. Just that this is a very real expression of church that is growing like a mustard seed and it is devoid of the corrupt rulership, power, and authority that plagues the Western Church system. But, as we already discussed, you won’t hear much about it. In fact, you may not hear much about it beyond what I’m telling you now. And if someone tells you they have the formula for it… well, it’s not this… it’s something else they have the formula for.

This is a place where leadership looks like sacrifice and selflessness, not being the primary voice and visionary. It’s a place for brothers and sisters who each bring their own valuable expression to the table, their own log to the fire, their own ingredients to the stew. It’s an expression of the “body of Christ” where each part genuinely, deeply matters.

It’s a place that is held wide-open for all of God’s family.

My own experience has been that it is the most powerful environment for transformation. And it’s not just me saying and experiencing that.

I believe people are longing for this… longing from the depths of their being for it, in fact. They just don’t know what to do with the longing; it’s like staring out into an endless ocean your heart aches to explore but feeling like you might be the only one looking and longing.

I’m here to tell you that you’re not the only one. Others share the longing. Others are silently asking the same questions as they lay in bed at night. I have found this to be true over and over at a level I never imagined.

The journey towards transformation

Finding each other will take some courage. It will take vulnerability. The journey together will require humility and letting go of so much of what you think you know. It will mean being wrong about a lot of things, and even being willing to be wrong in front of others.

But it will heal. It will fill emptiness and longing. It will restore your soul. It will change and transform you. It will change and transform the people around you. You will very likely fall more in love with Jesus and those he loves than you have ever been in your entire life.

It’s not a formula. It’s not a structure or a system. It’s asking Jesus to lead his people—you and those with you—together. But to let him do that, you have to—all of you—let go of the idea that you already have it right or already know what you’re doing. His table is large and it is round, and you can’t come to it any other way than as equals.

He alone is the perfect leader. And he will lead all of you as you travel shoulder-to-shoulder with those you take the journey with. Despite what is conveyed through Western Church structures, God speaks to all of his kids, and he leads through all of them, and how he does that is strikingly beautiful and outside of the frameworks man has relegated him to function within.

Man has begged for hierarchy and rulership while God has beckoned you to be his beloved family. He gave gifts to all that all may receive from one another. He invites us to live as merciful servants, that we might all experience the joy of his nature. He is the multi-faceted God and we are his multi-faceted kids, revealing his beauty most masterfully when woven together most selflessly.

The journey is neither easy nor comfortable—especially at first. But the beauty and the transformation is unimaginable (and I don’t say that as an exaggeration). God always desired that we would be a joyful people. This is not a path that does away with the struggle, pain, sorrow and loss in this life, but it is one where joy finds its grand presence in the midst of all the pain, sorrow, struggle and loss.

For those who want to take the journey I’d like to give you a final exhortation; one that is special to me and speaks directly to where Jesus led us over the last two years and the ways he changed us together:

Cross generations. Don’t demand your way or just give in to another. Agree and disagree. Love in the midst of tension. Choose relationship over being right. Speak honestly. Speak the good you see in each other. Confess how you feel so you can be healed. Sit in silence. Refuse to give platitudes and easy answers. Learn to listen. Ask questions 100x more than you give answers. Become a witness to each others’ stories. Show people they belong more than you tell them so.

You can see differently and still see each other with deep affection, love and honor. Despite what you may have been told, the strongest unity doesn’t come from great agreement, it comes from choosing each other in the midst of great disagreement. You can only have this living as equals.

Love sacrificially as your expression of worship to God. Become a safe person and a safe people for those who are hurting. Live with compassion—especially for yourself (that part of you that judges can be healed, too… it was just trying to protect you). Love the “least of these” and let them love the “least” in you until you’ve been transformed together. You might become best friends, and you might have needed who they are even more than they needed you…

As I’m writing these final words, I pray that every person who wants to take this journey will be strengthened for it and supernaturally connected to others who share the same longing and feel the same drawing.

It is so, so worth it.

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Post Script.

While I offer no formula or system, I—and many of my incredible friends—would love to be another set of shoulders walking next to yours if you take this journey. There is no cost other than friendship. You can reach me here.